So, I’m still kicking, as is my resilient little shit of a cat 😉
I managed to have a couple of out loud conversations with people about what’s happening. One was with the Vet at the Animal Hospital on the way home from work.
I just, for my own piece of mind needed to know that I wasn’t causing Skitzo more distress by letting him end his journey at home. She gave me some ‘timelines’ and things to look out for and prices… (ugh… ) I selfishly hope that he’ll pass on quietly in his sleep, cause I truthfully can’t afford to put him down. (the needle, the Vet appt and the cremation would set me back about $300… I guess I should have started an emergency fund for this… hindsight and all that) Though, if it’s an emergency, the Vet hospital won’t charge (it’s a quality of life vs suffering thing). It’s all horrible to think about. Anyway, she gave me a can of this super yummy (apparently) critical care canned food. He was excited to eat a couple of bites at first, but then… meh… I think that is part of the kitty dementia. On the days that he recognizes me, he lets me pet him, he purrs, he eats. On the other days he stares right through me and sleeps.
I also got to play with the kittens at the animal hospital, and talk to one of the adoptive “mommies”. She was very kind, and asked me all sorts of questions about Skitzo. Everyone was in agreement that if my cat was 21, and up until 2wks ago, was completely healthy and happy, then I must have done something right. That made me feel much better.
I also had a nice talk and night out with Syber. She too was a cat owner, and has experienced the loss. It was nice to just talk about it out loud, and work through the emotions until I could talk about it without crying.
Anyway, I think I’ve worked through a couple of Kubler-Ross stages at this point, and now it’s just a waiting game. But I’ve made peace with what is happening now, and am functioning on a more even keel.
To those that have reached out, thank you for your support and kind words. It means the world.