Happy? Father’s Day

Gosh I miss my dad. Life keeps spiralling lately, and I feel very… untethered, like I could blow away at any moment. I’ve lost all confidence in myself… again… only he’s not here to tell me it’s all gonna be ok, to “give my head a shake”, or to cook me that ridiculous meal of liver and spinach (because he was always worried I wasn’t eating right)

20yrs gone and I can only faintly remember his voice, but I will always always remember how he made me feel.

In the 51 years he was on this planet, he never once stopped looking at me this way. I carry that with me every day. Somedays I miss him with with a sadness that is unimaginable and indescribable. Today is one of those days. #fathersday #daddyslittlegirl

I had the best of both worlds being brought up with a strong father figure.

Through his example I learned how to be a “gentleman” (yes, even though I am a woman…)

I learned to hold doors, and offer to carry parcels, and lift strollers. To offer my hand to steady someone, to come to someone’s aid or defence. To be kind.

I learned through his guidance, to be strong.
To get up, to wipe off the dirt, the blood, the tears, and try again.
To be self-reliant (sometimes to my own detriment)
To stand up for myself.
To not take any shit from anyone.

I learned through his presence to not take life so seriously.
To laugh heartily.
To love fully.

I had hoped someday to meet a man like him to share my life with.
It seems though that he may have been one of a kind.