You thought I was gonna say “me” didn’t you? Well, that just seemed so fucking cliche as it was coming out of the tip of my fingers, no matter how true the sentiment may reveal itself to be later on this coming year.
I don’t need to look back at my entry from a year ago to remember how sucky my new year was transitioning from 2013-14. I also don’t need to go back over this year month by month in some sort of cruel reflection, re-examination. Then it just turns into a woe is me pity party, and I’ve thrown enough of those over the years.
Suffice it to say, this wasn’t a good year, and in 12 hours I will thank it for the lessons it taught me, bid it adieu, and send it on it’s merry way.
What I will take with me from 2014 is the determination, resilience, pluck, courage, and “take no-shit” attitude I discovered within myself. It will serve me well as I run full throttle into 2015.
This year, being part of my life will be your choice.
I will not chase.
I will not lie awake at night wondering what if anything I did wrong or to deserve your attitude, ire, disloyalty, etc..
I will not force myself, my friendship or my service upon you.
If I have at some point offered it, it is here for the taking.
But mark my words, I am done with the games.
I am done with the bullshit.
If you give me the impression that I am not welcome or wanted in your circle. I won’t be there. Period.
I would rather be alone, friendless and jobless than surrounded by people I feel I have to prove myself to over and over again.
I’ve proven myself tenfold to the people in my life.
If you still have a problem with me, I suggest you look inwards, cause therein lies the real problem.
The only person I am out to prove myself to in 2015? Me.
The only person I need to measure up to? Me.
The only person I am in competition with? Me.
Y’all are either gonna be spectators, supporters, or in some cases detractors (your prerogative) but it won’t affect me one way or another. Cause when it comes down to it, I am the one to blame or praise for everything in my life, good or bad.
It all comes down to choices I’ve made and will continue to make.
Who, what, where, how, and when.
I’ve made some doozies… no doubt about that, and I’ll likely step in it again. But I will own it and learn from it as I always do.
Happy New Year everyone!