A friend of mine was in town on my birthday, (been stewing this one for a while) and asked if he could buy me a birthday drink. I was just heading into a movie at the time and then was heading to The Keg for my annual birthday dinner. I suggested he just join me for dinner since he was driving in from Oakville (seemed silly for me to eat alone then have him to drive an hour to just meet for drinks)
So that he did.
We had a fun meal, hilarious conversation, and we of course solved all of the world’s problems over steak and potatoes.
Meal ended, we are walking towards his car, he asks how I get home, I say public transit. Being a gentleman (or so I thought) he offers to drive me home. “Nice” I think. I’ve had a long day, a couple of adult beverages, I’m tired… so I accept. (note to self: next time, take the streetcar)
We get to my place, where while still in the car, I thank him for the company and the ride and go to get out. He insists on walking me to my door. I’m like, “my door is right there!” But he is insisting, its his “thing”, he’s being chivalrous, yada, yada, yada… I don’t want to insult him, so I begrudgingly say ok.
So we get to the outside door (apt building) and he’s insisting on walking me to my actual apt door. I figure he’s just being paranoid of the big city. (Although I live in a low rise of 6 apts, in a quiet, safe neighbourhood…)
We get inside and I stop short of my door (keys still in pocket). I’m like, “ok, so that was a fun surprise, glad you could join me”, *awkward hug* (thought bubble “please go away now” ) and then he kisses me. I quickly kiss him on the cheek in return to deflect, and try to squirm away. He comes in again for more kissing, I awkwardly allow another kiss then push away (picture a cat that doesn’t want to be held, this was my arm action) With an “ok then, goodnight now” he finally gets the message and slinks away. (I wasn’t about to actually unlock and open my door until he was out of the building, lest he push his way in)
Now, my impression is that he’s a really nice guy, and I never felt in danger or anything, but there is NO, repeat ZERO interest on my part. No spark, no flutter, hell, just based on our two, yes TWO conversations total, we are not suited to each other at all. And I sure as HELL am not a one-night stand. Especially with someone I have less sexual tension with than my hairbrush.
Back story, he and I have chatted on and off before in a professional setting.
In early September we were traveling to the same event. He got rather weirdly flirty beforehand but I shut him down. Nonetheless, I included him in a group outing at that event. I knew after that night that there was never going to be anything between us, based purely on the conversation and the awkwardness in the group setting, as well as my overwhelming desire NOT to kiss him.
Part of me feels like I insulted him on my birthday night, but he didn’t seem to be off put when he responded to a tweet the following morning.
Sidebar: What is it with men thinking I’m in for the one night motel mambo with them?? This is the second guy in less than a year that assumed a few not so witty or subtle sexually charged/flirtatious texts would cause my clothes to spontaneously fall away from my body and said body would hop unfettered into bed with them.
So… my dilemma in the aftermath was how do I, or do I even, address this now?
Do I wait until he tries to “get with me” again?
And more importantly, how the HELL does one ward off the advances of someone in a polite way??? (this is something I am completely ill prepared for as it’s NEVER an issue) I was trying to be nice, but even to this day I can’t seem to shake the “ick” factor of someone trying to mack on me…
It’s not like we even have a friendship. It’s an acquaintanceship at best.
A friendship would entail many conversations/interactions of substance outside of the confines of a work setting. (or even within the confines of a work setting)
Other than him friending me on Facebook, I have had a total of ZERO conversations with him since then. (140 characters or otherwise)
Bottom line is I’m mostly just sad that it’s been years (literally a decade) since I’ve been really, truly, kissed, on the lips, and then when it did finally happen, it was not from someone who’s kiss I wanted or welcomed. 😦
I feel like I was robbed.
There was one person I wanted to kiss earlier this year. Unfortunately, no matter how I tried to insinuate myself into his world, he wasn’t interested in me in the fricken least.
It made me sad, but it certainly didn’t prompted me to force myself on him!
What happened to proper courtships?? Just because I’m older than dirt doesn’t mean I’m
A) Desperate for any affection that comes my way, reciprocity be damned.
or B) that I don’t want or deserve to be wooed
Don’t just assume because I’m too nice to tell you I’d rather be alone on my birthday that it’s an open invitation to try to get some spontaneous nooky.
and there it is… a month later, I’m pissed off again