There is just something about Sundays. A different feel. A different vibe.
This weekend was Motegi… which meant the practices, qualies, race, all took place in the middle of the night. Made for an interesting schedule I must say. Put it this way, because my internet sucks so bad, I went to the office to watch online. This lead to me not even beginning my trek home until 3:30am… You know who are out at that time? douchebags and barely dressed drunk girls. Holy crap, It was all I could do not to hurt someone. Seriously.
Anyway I slept from 5am ish to 11am ish, then started my day. A little cleaning, a little working… (ugh) and then I escaped to enjoy the beautiful afternoon. Lots of sunshine, a salted caramel mocha, a new pair of Roots Boots! (I needed a new pair of shoes, and these are just gorgeous and grey and new and comfortable!)
Now I sit on a patio (it’s a little chillier than I would like) enjoying a Mike’s Hard Blueberry Lemonade and doing a little writing.
The “sads” have lifted a little. I cried briefly yesterday as I began to throw out the bowls of cat food, and emptied the litter box for the final time. I still open the door with trepidation and look at my feet so as not to step on him… I think I will do that for many months to come.
Work is still a giant mystery to me. I feel like I should sock away every penny I make for the next little while as I am not convinced this job will be there come the new year. I just don’t know what direction the business is going in, or where I fit in. I sense I am being phased out, and am therefore not being as forthcoming as I could be about the tasks I cover on a day to day basis… that said, I don’t know if I want to keep trudging on this way. I don’t believe in anything we are doing as a company right now and feel like it’s all going to come to a head very soon when I don’t comply with the new format… I am keeping my eyes and ears open for other potential jobs, put it that way.
I feel the need to really clean and toss out a lot of my “stuff” right now. Like I’m going into a big transition period soon, and the less crap I have around me, the better. I am purging in epic hoarder proportions… it feels good.
I think if I can purge all the crap, and baggage, and negativity and “stuff”, I can make room for someone in to come into my life. It felt so good to have a conversation with a man, and to smile and feel girly and flirty. I think it’s time to examine the possibility of that.. (with someone who doesn’t already have a girlfriend of course)
ok… my fingers are frozen. This sitting outside thing novelty has officially worn off… Cheque please!