to have an “a ha” moment.
In case you haven’t picked up on it, I am struggling with, well, everything right now.
I have been feeling very out of control.
Then, without realizing it, I stopped eating. Not completely mind you, but enough to become aware of it.
I kept making excuses like I’m too busy, I’m too stressed, I’m at the end I’d my cycle, etc etc… But it was only when my boss asked me why I wasn’t eating, then jokingly said do I need to ask for your food journal again (I asked him for help last time I fell off the wagon) that I realized I was actually, subconsciously yet intentionally not eating as it’s the one thing I have total control over right now. (for good or bad)
damn… I hate when I fall off the wagon, and it’s not even about the weight this time.